Gaming moments: C

Civilisation Revolution (Xbox 360)

I had expanded across the map, and suddenly I was attacked on three

sides by the Aztecs and two other nations. In one turn they halved my

forces, and during my turn I could do little to bring it back – I rushed

production of units on all my cities but my forces were still depleted.

Defeat seemed likely. But then the Aztecs spent their next turn

attacking one of my tank units with everything they had, all weakened

from the previous battles, and my tank held on to defeat them all. The

other two nations started to attack each other. In my next turn I was

able to push through and capture the Aztec capital and further defend,

leading to an eventual victory. Magic tank.

Crackdown (Xbox 360) 

I had almost completed the game before I realised you could get cars

delivered to the garage. I managed to drive the SUV up the side of the

boss tower and then jump it off – rather amazing.

Chu Chu Rocket (Dreamcast)


My first ever online game, and I won the first match. It was tricky to

adapt to the one-second delay on inputs, but it was that which led to
victory in the end – I had placed a tile to my rocket which my opponent
simultaneously directed the mice to.

Castle of Illusion (Mega Drive)

I remember Colin bringing his new MD to my house, and being in awe at

this game.  We played it for hours and got pretty far – and then he had

to go home.  He called me the next day to tell me he’d completed the game.

Conker’s Bad Fur Day (Nintendo 64)

I am the great mighty poo and I’m going to throw my shit at you!

Crazy Taxi (Dreamcast)

That huge hill at the start of the game, after you’d picked up a woman

at the tram stop.  Crazy boosting all the way down, ready to drift to a

stop at the bottom, slightly to the left, where you were dropping your

passenger off.  That’s not my memory though – my memory is of the time

when my drift was too little, and my taxi ended up stuck in the wall

within the drop-off area, racking up huge bonuses as the game continued

my drift for a good two minutes.  The ungrateful woman told me I was

late – but she could have got out at any time.

Conflict: Desert Storm (Gamecube)

I played through this and its sequel with John and Kieron during

multiple gaming days.  The followup, Conflict Vietnam, suddenly removed

the southpaw options from the game, which meant two of us couldn’t

control it.  Idiots. 

Game memories: F

Feel the Magic XX-XY (DS)

Project Rub in the UK, but I got this with my imported US DS ahead of the European launch.  In many ways it was an ideal game to launch the DS with, showing many varied ideas on how the touchscreen could be used.  It didn’t hang together that well, but I remember the black, white and orange colour scheme vividly.

F1 ’97 (PS)

Murray Walker shouting “He’s on the green stuff” over and over again; tracks being messes of pixels a little way down the road.  A great game.

F1 2010 (Xbox 360)

Far too many options and menus to wade through.  Completing a single race in the career mode took ages, since you had to go through practice sessions, qualifying and the race itself.  Ideal for people who love F1, but for me it was just a bit painful.

F1 2011 (3DS)

As with F1 2010 above, but with a third of the framerate.

F355 Challenge Passione Rossa (Dreamcast)

At the time this felt like a massive technical achievement and tales of the arcade machine using three monitors underlined the game’s credentials.  I played it for about fifteen minutes before being totally overwhelmed by the options and realistic gameplay – in other words, I kept spinning off the track, couldn’t work out how to switch to a behind-car view, and had better things to play instead.

Field Commander (PSP)
Like Advance Wars but with little charm, little challenge, and a rubbish online mode.

Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles (Gamecube)
I’ve never completed a proper Final Fantasy game; I’ve never even passed the first hour of one.  This, however, was played loads at virtually every games night we held.  Kieron had a bucket on his head, I was a Selkie.  John was accomplished at ranged combat, we all could heal each other but often didn’t.

Fire Emblem (GBA)
I never completed this.  I remember it getting very stressful due to the fact that if a character died in a mission, they remained dead.  I restarted missions again and again to protect my favourite characters, and as a result it grew stale and too difficult.

Floigan Brothers: Episode One (Dreamcast)
It’s a shame there was no episode two – this was an amusing game which was unlike anything else, as with a lot of Sega’s Dreamcast output.  It was far too short and there was a bit too much collection required as far as I recall.  I got this in Singapore and worked out pretty quickly that it was a pirate version, but bought the proper version on my return from HMV for a fiver.

Ford Racing 3 (Xbox)

I was convinced to buy this by people on RLLMUK praising the second game, the fact it was online (when there were few other online games around), and it was £10 brand new.  I think I played it online three times and offline twice, before being tempted away by other games that were just more fun to play.

F-Zero (SNES, Wii, Wii U)

F-Zero GX (Gamecube)

F-Zero X (N64)

F-Zero: Maximum Velocity (GBA, 3DS)
GX is the best.  The Mode 7 games are a bit pants now, but at the time they seemed great, particularly on the GBA where the handling was much more refined.  Replaying them now, they are just too floaty and the career mode is a bit lightweight with daft difficulty spikes.

Future Tactics: the Uprising (Gamecube)

I bought this in the US and as a result, the hassle needed to load the game meant that I played it little.  A shame, as when I did I remember it being a clever game melding a strategy turn-based game with something that felt more action-based.  I’m now able to play US games on my modded Wii; I may try this again when I find it.

Fighting Vipers (Saturn, Xbox 360)

I continue to be hopeless at fighting games that are more complicated that Street Fighter II, but Fighting Vipers has a pleasing lack of combo, super and extra EX WTF meters.  The fighting feels solid and the idea of being able to knock off armour works well.  I get the feeling that if I played this a bit more I could get quite good at it.  That’s unlikely to happen.

Paper Mario: the whole castle's been kidnapped

What a surprise. Peach has been kidnapped. Again. Mario must rescue her. Again.

The roots of Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga are evident here, from the action-based turn-based battles to the item system. It’s probably about as funny, possibly more clever, and the paper-thin characters are really quite clever.

I’m worried this’ll get lost among all my other games and other stuff that’s happening. I might have to put it on the front page of my Wii Channels to encourage me to play it.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: completed!

The final dungeon – Ganon’s castle – wasn’t that difficult, really. There were six distinct rooms, and in the second I found the golden gauntlets, which let me pick up massive things. Given this, I thought I’d go and find stuff I’d missed.

I was sure I’d seen massive rocks near the desert colossus and in the Gerudo fortress, but I was wrong. While I was in the desert, though, I did find a great fairy fountain and got given Nairu’s Love, a protective spell. And in the Gerudo fortress I found a big block that I hadn’t pushed, and more importantly a gap in the ceiling which gave me the last small key and the path to the ice arrows.

There was a massive rock on the outside of Ganon’s castle, blocking another great fairy fountain – this one gave me boosted defense, reducing the harm enemies’ attacks did me by half – and there were two inside, one in the fire room and one blocking the entrance to the light room.

After completing the six rooms, firing a light arrow into the orb in each one, I climbed the tower, beating lizards and skeletons and big armoured knights on the way up. And then I met Ganondorf.

Good storyline. Ganondorf has the triforce of power, and was sat there playing an organ. I don’t know you, but playing an organ just identifies the person as evil. Zelda was floating above the organ. Poor girl. It wasn’t even a good song.

Then the organ and Zelda disappeared, and Ganon started throwing balls of energy at me. I pretty quickly caught on the the fact that this was just like the Phantom Ganon battle, and hit then back at him. All this seemed to do was stun him, though. It wasn’t until the third time I did it that I realised that the light arrows then shot him out of the sky, and I could go over and beat him up properly.

That took a while – with a break halfway through when I ran out of magic power and had to fall down a big gap to find some bottles in jars – and then he went down. And the castle started to collapse. A timed race out, with enemies on the way that stop progress until you’ve killed them. Great!

I got out within the three minutes, and Zelda told me it was all over – the big fat liar. A big bang from the ruined castle, and there was Ganon, big and ugly. He took a few swipes at me and the Master Sword went flying outside the ring of fire that had sprung up.

Luckily, Ganon was rather slow, and I quickly realised that I could get behind him and his tail was identified as a target. The hammer hit him, and after a few blows he went down. I ran over and got the Master Sword, and repeated it – though he was faster this time, so I stunned him with the light arrows first, then ran behind and slashed away. After a few hits, he went down again. Zelda held him down using her magical powers, and I delivered the final blow …

… not quite as good as the final blow in The Wind Waker, but still impressive …

… and that was it.

Great game.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: the Spirit Temple

A huge amount of progress tonight, even if I did have to repeat a bit because my cats jumped onto the plug and turned the Wii’s power off for a few seconds …

I managed to rescue the four carpenters, and the last guard gave me a membership card which meant they’d not try and kill me any more. Hooray! I went to their training ground and cleared quite a few rooms but there were a few bits and pieces I couldn’t do … but I wanted to get on, so I gave up with those. I then went off to the big gate to the desert, and was let out to face the two trials. The first one – the river of sand – was easy … I just used the hookshot to get to the other side. The second was more tricky, involving following a trail of flags … but the flags were immensely difficult to see half the time, and it took me a few tried to get through the path. Then a (hidden) poe ghost took me the rest of the way to the desert collossus. I went inside and found both ways blocked; I went outside and Sheik told me to become young and told me a song to warp me back through the desert. So I did.

The Spirit Temple was quite straightforward. It involved doing half of it as a kid (meeting a thief on the way, who charged me with finding some silver gauntlets for her … which I did, and then saw her be kidnapped before I could give them to her) and then warping back to the Temple of Time and becoming an adult again for the rest of the temple. I was happy to see the mirror shield make an appearance – I loved the way it was used in the Wind Waker, though here it played less of a part – and the final boss was genius. Two sisters, one casting fire, one casting ice – I had to reflect the fire to hit the ice witch and vice versa. They then combined and I had to catch three of the same spells in a row, avoiding the others. It was really tricky, but i managed it first life, and it was much more fun than Bongo Bongo ever was.

The thief I tried to help turned out to be the final sage; I was then told to go back to the Temple of Time. Sheik met me there and, oh, surprise, (s)he turned out to be Zelda. She told me all about the triforce, gave me the light arrows, and then was kidnapped. I’ve got to go to Ganon’s castle to rescue her.

I have a feeling I’m nearing the end of the game now!

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: off to the desert

I finally beat Bongo Bongo, after a trip to the Lost Woods to catch a couple of fairies in bottles and to fill up my health meter. First, though, I had to go and sell the poe I’d caught in the castle town.

Anyway, what a surprise, I met the fifth sage, who gave me a medallion, and told me to go and find and protect Zelda. I have no idea where she is. Navi told me to go to the desert, so I did … except I ran across the Gerudo fortress, and what appears to be a stealth section.

I’ve noticed you can fire arrows at the guards to knock them out. This should be fun.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: Bongo Bongo

Great.

I finally managed to reach the boss at the end of the Shadow Temple, with very little health remaining. He is really annoying – he’s a big invisible eye and two disembodied hands, and the whole battle takes place on a drum which means that Link keeps getting thrown up in the air and uncontrollable. I was hoping that using the iron boots would stop this, but it doesn’t.

I’ve worked out that I’ve got to use the lens of truth to see the eye, and hit the hands with arrows to disable them temporarily. But the thing is that I’ve only got three hearts, and one hit kills me.

I’ve died quite a few times and every time there’s a long journey to get back to the boss – involving going on a River-Stix-like boat and fighting skeletons. Along the way there are hearts up on ledges but I can’t work out how to get them. There are no other things that help me regain health. So every time, one hit inside the boss room and I die.

I hope I can beat him soon or I feel I might just not be bothered.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: the shadow temple

Hmm, what to label this as? It’s an N64 game, on a GameCube disc, being played on the Wii. How confusing.

I spent ages trying to work out where to go next. Navi kept on telling me to go and talk to someone who knew about the sages. I guessed this was Sheik, but had no idea where to find her. I ran around the whole world, and finally went into Kakariko Village where Sheik told me that something was hidden at the bottom of the well. Very cool cutscene, actually – the village was on fire, and sheik was grabbed by a shadow and thrown around. Anyway, I went down the well and there was nothing there.

After a bit more exploration, I went into the windmill, and the man in there told me he was all cross because of what happened seven years previously, when a young boy with an ocarina caused something to happen. I took out my ocarina and he taught me a stormy song. I then went back in time, went to the windmill again, and played the song. A storm started and all the water drained out of the well. Ah-ha!

Down in the well I found myself in a room with no exit other than the way I came in. Navi kept on highlighting a skeleton at the end of the room, and said that the spirits were telling me to get an eye of truth. All very well, but getting out of the room would help first. Purely by chance (I was trying to attach the skeleton) I found out that the wall at the end of the room wasn’t actually real, and I could just walk through it.

This then led me to a mini-dungeon, where I got a magnifying glass thing which shows me the truth – with disappearing walls and floors and chests which are there but aren’t visible. I actually really enjoyed this cavern, because it offered quite a lot of exploration to find all its secrets, but was a nice small manageable size.

The shadow temple, my next port of call, is much larger, however. I’ve got the map and have explored around three quarters of the dungeon, it seems, and while there’s no particularly taxing puzzles other than the use of the lens of truth, it’s just going on for a long time. Hopefully I’ll complete it tonight.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: the water temple

That took a long time.

Amusingly, both of my predictions came true. I was expecting either an ice dungeon or a water dungeon, but instead I got both.

On my hunch, I went to the zora’s place and found it all frozen. Even the king was frozen solid in a block of red ice. I went into the tunnel behind him and jumped across some icebergs into a cave.

The ice cavern wasn’t very large, and there wasn’t really an end-of-dungeon boss as such (there was just a white wolf thing, who died very quickly and easily). It was quite a clever dungeon, though, with rooms which were locked until five silver rupees were collected, and a clever block-pushing puzzle where the block slid on ice until it hit a wall or pillar. A lot of the level was blocked by red ice, and there was a blue flame which Navi hinted would be useful. It took me a while to work out that you could capture the blue flame in a bottle and then release it near the ice.

After beating the wolf, I got a pair of iron boots, which make you walk very slowly but also let you walk underwater. Which would be great if you could breathe.

I got back to the king and realised that I hadn’t refilled my bottles with blue fire, so I had to go all the way back and capture some more, before going and thawing out the king. He gave me a blue tunic, which lets me breathe underwater. Evidently nobody’s heard of an aqualung in Hyrule.

The king also told me that Princess Ruto had been saved by Sheik, and had gone to the water temple to defeat the baddie there and thaw out the whole of Zoras‘ Domain. I took this as a hint and played the song that Sheik taught me to warp to the water temple.

I arrived on a little island with a tree and a plaque, which said something like “when the lake is full, shoot the rising sun”. The lake wasn’t full, it was drained and muddy. After a bit of exploration I found a door underwater at the base of the island I was on; I equipped the iron boots and blue tunic and went down to it. It was locked.

Luckily, I had my hookshot equipped and could see that it was usable, unlike the other weapons I was carrying. I hit the switch above the door and it opened. And so I entered the water temple.

To get through the water temple took me four hours. Some of the puzzles were really hard, and some were obvious but just required a lot of backtracking. The decreased mobility underwater meant I became very low on health on more than one occasion, and I did die once when I got caught in a corridor with some horrible oyster-like enemies.

Half way through you come to this seemingly endless room with no walls, but with another door on the other side. I ran across the room to the other door, and it was locked. After exploring a bit, I noticed that I no longer had a reflection on the ground, unlike everything else. My reflection, in fact, turned out to have stayed on the central island, and proceeded to fight me. A few hits with the hammer and he died, opening the doors.

After such a long dungeon, I was rather disappointed to be given only an extended hookshot, instead of a new toy.

After getting the longshot, it took me ages to find the boss key, and then ages to get to the boss. Luckily I’d found the map and the compass, or I reckon I’d still be there. The boss was mean – a big water thing with a floating nucleus – and it took me a while to work out that I had to hook the nucleus out of the water and then hit it. It did kill me once, but luckily I’d captured a fairy in a bottle and it revived me.

After killing the boss, I was transported to the Sacred Realm again, where I was shocked and stunned to find out that Ruto was the water sage. Thankfully, this meant that she couldn’t marry me, and so the world would never find out what a hylian–zora mutant would look like.

Back at Lake Hylia, the lake was full again, and I (luckily) remembered the plaque; standing on it I shot at the rising sun with my arrows and got the fire arrows. Hooray!

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: the fire temple

After a bit of an explore as little Link, I realised that I’d explored most of the world already and had come to a dead end, so I changed back to adult Link and went off exploring again. Navi told me that Death Mountain looked odd, which I took as a hind, and headed up there. Inside the goron cave I found a goron rolling around, and eventually stopped him through cunning placement of bombs. He told me that the others had been taken away to be fed to a dragon. The king had gone to save them all. He gave me a fire tunic to allow me to go into hot areas, which looks exactly the same as the normal tunic but red. How that’s going to prevent burning I have no idea.

Great.

A suspicious looking pillar in the throne room turned out to be movable, and I went through into the fire temple. I won’t describe it in detail, but it was relatively straightforward, saving Gorons as you go through, with some clever use of connecting passages which open from the other side to allow you to shortcut to different areas from the start. I got a big hammer half-way through, and the boss was a whack-a-mole type affair. A big firey dragon, Volvagia. It took me a couple of tries but I killed him, got the heart, and legged it out of there.

It turns out that the king of the gorons, Darunia, is the fire sage, and he gave me a medallion.

Now, Ocarina’s not my first Zelda game, so I fully expect the next dungeon to be ice or water-based. Furthermore, I’ve come across three races so far: the kokiri, the hylians, the gorons and the zora. The forest temple was the kokiri, the fire temple was the gorons. It’s not too much of a stretch to put two and two together …